Ladies, if you don’t offer to pay, then you weren’t raised right, and men, if you don’t refuse to let them pay, then you weren’t raised right either.

That was a line in a video I recently watched titled, “Who should really pay while dating?”

It reminded me of a discussion with a manager I had once while working in Farmville.

He basically said women couldn’t have it both ways.

They can’t be Miss Independent who doesn’t need a man, and then cry when their boyfriend doesn’t open the door for them or pay for their meal at dinner.

I’ve lived through most possibilities.

I’ve had the boyfriends who spoiled me, always had enough money for everything who I basically only got to pay for on their birthdays.

I’ve also had the boyfriends who barely had enough money to take me out.

I’ve even had a guy open a door for me and help me out of their truck.

While I agree somewhat with both types of men, there are some things that I just can’t.

There have been dates where I paid for my half simply because the meal was expensive.

Now, I’ll be honest. I love to be spoiled, so of course I love for a guy to pay, but I know it can’t happen every time. That’s unrealistic and unfair.

When teenagers are dating, I think parents should give their daughters money just in case, because you never know how someone was raised. And yes, my mother did that for me, but I never had to use it.

Same thing applies when you’re older, except of course, it’s coming out of your own pocket.

The idea is to offer to pay, and if the man says he has it, by all means, let him pay.

Let him open the door for you.

Let him buy you gifts.

Let him spoil you, but don’t shy away from spoiling him too.

The guy in that video also said to treat your partner like your best friend.

Now that is something I can completely agree with.

Ashley Hodge reports for The Gazette-Virginian. Contact her at

Ashley Hodge is the editor for The Gazette-Virginian. Contact her at